Peru.

Today I leave for Peru, so who knows what will become of this chicken blog for the next two weeks. So here are some pics from the last time I was in Peru for last xmas. Be well and for those of you in the Sonoran Desert enjoy the sweet smell of creosote and the feel of the monsoons in the air.

Huaraz.

The Way Inn. View from our room.

Me and the dog, Mumbles, at the Way Inn with some lovely mtns in the background.

Sunset in Chaclacayo.

Xmas with our chullos.

Pollo in the market.

First ascent.

Confessional.

Hi, my name is Matthew. And I'm addicted to my climbing wall.

Climbing wall - Part 5.

Sunday was nearly as hot as Saturday. Made even hotter by the fact that we now have all the panels on the bouldering wall, and all we have left is to finish screwing the pieces in fully, fill three small gaps with plywood, and attach some holds. It is far sturdier than I could have hoped for and the Metolius grit paint that I paid too much for turned out to be a worth while expenditure as it adds a level of texture that makes this so much more than a wooden wall.

Let's go climbing.

Prepping to hoist the highest of all panels.

Grrr.

Safe and secure.

Let the race to the finish begin...

. . . . .

Megan and David putting the finishing touches on a panel.

At some point in the day, we announced that David deserved the title of "one who saved the weekend!" Megan and I would have had some trouble getting those panels up all by our lonesome selves. And one or both of us just might have died in the process. So thanks David!

Megan contemplates the distance to the top after we placed the final panel and the light that would envelop her when she reaches the top right corner...

The view from the ground.

Chickens have a special place in their chicken hearts for common people.

There are really no words that can express how happy I was to have stumbled upon this.

Because I'm feeling saucy today...

My public service announcement for the day.

Flight of the Conchords is my new favorite show ever.

I am so not the first person to post this video from Flight of the Conchords, but I can't help it. They're that good...(oh, if any of my cousins are looking at this with their kids, I have a sneaking suspicion that you will want to provide whatever your level of censorship you desire for the rather creative lyrics.)

Climbing Wall - Part 1.

Ever since I bought this house nearly two years ago, we (friends, brother, me, etc) have talked about putting a bouldering wall out back and well, it wasn't until our ever thoughtful and visionary president decided to boost the economy through his stimulus plan that I decided it was the right time to stimulate ourselves through the construction of a home climbing wall. So, finally we began, after long hours of planning, imagining, and mostly talking about how amazing it will be. If all goes according to plan, it will be 16 feet wide by 12 feet tall with two 8 foot sections at different overhanging angles, painted gray with the appropriate levels of texture to make it look slightly less woody, with all sorts of manufactured holds as decoration like the two foot long teal rail, all sorts of crimpy painful holds, the the brain like tan bulge, and the homemade walnut beauty that my cousin Eric crafted with a block of wood and a grinder in his driveway.

Step one: donuts, coffee and banter.

Step two: getting the six-inch lizard out of our post hole.

Step three: cementing 16 foot 4x4 posts in a straight line perfectly vertical and the exact distance we will eventually need for two differently angled 8 foot sections.

Step four: more banter.

Step five: admiration.

Outdoor shower...

Just in time for the 100 degree temps the outdoor shower is completed with lots of help from all sorts of people. Chris helped cement posts, my dad showed up to work on the copper plumbing with me, mom, Chris, and Megan stained the slats at various times. My neighbor of course thinks I am crazy but the shower is quite possibly the best thing we have done to the backyard so far... And for those of you who are wondering what in the world I am thinking, well here are the three main reasons we wanted an outdoor shower:

1. Water goes into the ground, and helps to recharge the terribly depleted aquifer. (We only use biodegradable soap outside and hair washing will take place inside.)
2. Water from our outside spigot is often cooler (after the initial blast of superheated water lava) than water that is piped into the house, which when low temps in the summer rarely get below 80 degrees at night, the desire for cold showers nears obsessive.
3. Seriously, there is nothing better than a refreshing shower under the stars or in the morning sun as birds are singing.

Here is some evidence.

Vacancy.

Come on in!

Notice the beautifully stained wood and the wonderfully welded copper piping - thanks to everyone who helped! Also the bench to the right. Don't worry, it's sanded very smooth.

Aerial photography.

Spring!

I think that about says it all.

How did you use your extra day?

Well it's the day that mostly does not exist. At least 75% of the time. I hope you used it well and didn't squander it like all the rest of your days with so much laziness and sloth. I know I didn't. In fact I just got back from stuffing myself at my favorite local Mexican restaurant, El Minuto, with more abandon than usual simply because it was an extra, special day. And now I have updated Chicken Diction. (Whew.) All very important things. Don't you think that we should all be paid overtime for working an extra day this year? Time and a half is definitely our due, I say. Tonight I think I will cut my hair. Wow. What would I have ever done without an extra day like this. This is your day to make a difference. Don't frack it up. That's right, I'm addicted to Battlestar Galactica, and I'm not afraid to say it. And I'll use my extra day however I please.

Happy Leap Year Day from an old The Who poster!

Chickens in the News! #6

Consider this your first Public Service Announcement mixed with the News!....

Beware people in chicken mascot suits! One minute they will be protesting alongside PETA in Manila, Philippines against some horrible abuse of the International Declaration of Poultry Rights...


...and the next they will biting the heads of your children! You never know what will come over someone dressed in a giant chicken suit. Don't let this happen to you or someone you love.


This has been a message from your local Chicken Diction broadcasting network. You now may return to your regular scheduled programming.

For the record.

Occasionally I find the need to stray from the not-so-subtle object of this blog and address matters of near equal importance to the goings-on of my backyard brood of hens. So for all you folks out there who are caught up in the fantasy world of dynasty-love, regurgitated go-get-'em politics, or the cult of personality, here you go. Being better than Bush does not mean they are better than each other.

Ode to Quoits.

For those lost souls out there who don't know what quoits (pronounced quaits) are, here is a quick tutorial of this wondrous sport. It's similar to horseshoes but a shorter distance (21 feet to be exact), shorter pegs, and instead of the open horseshoe shape it is a brass doughnut shape thus making "ringers" that much more difficult and therefore emotional. For more detail than you would ever want and some slightly awkward pictures of mostly overweight, middle-aged, white men, see the website for the United States Quoiting Association (really). You can even purchase your own set there. Here is evidence of the hours of enjoyment one can have playing quoits: we had to set out outdoor lighting to keep playing after dark! My set did not in fact come from the USQA website, but but from our dear friend Phil in Virginia, who is currently up for sainthood in our household due to his enormous generosity and strength of character for parting ways with this most beauteous set of quoits. Our dear friend Andrew also deserves a round of well wishes and prayers due to his self-sacrificing nature and allowing me to take this particular set when offered by Phil since as he said, "they make them right across the street from my house in Lancaster, Pennsylvania." That's right folks, this is me getting back to my Mennonite heritage and my only form of proselytizing - encouraging others to play this ever versital game of skill and technique, while most likely drinking beer.

Oh Groundhog Day...

Oh Golden Lanes oh!

Life isn't all about chickens, so we celebrated this past rainy Sunday evening as all rainy Sunday evenings should be celebrated: we went BOWLING. And we dressed up. Because if you can't bowl well, at least you can look good. And drink beer.

Tell us what your gonna do Debbie...

Freja selects a ball.

Riley "Stetson" Merline and Chris "Five-O" Lowen.

Changing bowling names is sometimes more fun than actually bowling.

We were just glad Marie made it out from the black hole of James E. Rodgers Law School.

It's hard to look this good.

Megan "I am sporty" Bartel.

Riley demonstrates his style and skills.

Rock star bowling.

Dear Golden Lanes, we'll see you again soon.

"The sweet sounds of New Zealand sheep," by Chris Lowen.

My brother is a man of many talents, some seen, and some hidden below layers of skin and bones. Here, while on a recent trip down under, he unmasks his innate talent of impersonations, by mimicking the confused sheep of New Zealand. For those long time readers of Chicken Diction, you will remember his partner in crime and life, Megan and her natural abilities in the area of animal sounds as well. This time it was the lonesome cry of the North American buffalo. If you haven't witnessed her great display of animal mimicry, you should really see both the video of Chris below, and Megan's together, so here is the link. May you all enjoy the wonderful sounds of nature!

Second Annual Tacky Holiday Sweater Party

I hope that you are prepared for the best blog entry EVER. Albeit belated, I can assure you that you have never seen anything quite like this (there might be a reason for that). This is the documentation for the Second Annual Tacky Holiday Sweater Party and it is something never before seen in the world of blogging - until next year of course. So feast your eyes on the brilliance of tacky holiday sweaters...

Welcome to our fiesta!

People were very excited to be in attendance.

Behold, the tackiness!

JT and his girlfriend campaigned all night long to be voted the "Best PTA Mom and Dad" and then left before the awards were handed out, so we all booed, gave their present of a stuffed chihuahua that sings "Feliz Navidad" in a bad Mexican accent to someone else, and promptly forgot all the begging and pleading they did in order to get voted for in the first place. Then JT had the tenacity to email me and ask where their prize was. Whatever JT.

Kristin and Debbie. Debbie came in second for "Most Flair".

Uppy and Dave - how cute.

My brother would have won the prize for "most prominent sweater" if there had been a category for that. He sewed the Santa head onto his sweater and it stuck out a good six inches.

Meet Juan...

Juan "Moose Cock" Castro, that is.

Mari and Jonathan.

Wreath-on-a-sweater and Smiles-a-lot.

Lindsey and Kristin.

Claudine won a well deserved "Most Flair" for her home-made xmas tree hat.

Pam was the write in winner of the non-existent category of "Most Drool".

Joe placed a strong third in the category of "Hardest to look at".

Riley and I went head to head for first place in the coveted "Hardest to look at" category. In the end I pulled out the victory.

Guess why.

Happy tacky holidays!